I Gotta Be Her!!

I GOTTA BE HER!!

I’m speaking of Gina Bae and not in a self-aggrandizing way. I gotta be her in a way that reminds other women that it’s okay to give themselves permission to be the raw you in every way. I wear makeup often because I have hyperpigmentation and sparse eyebrows. I like hiding those things. It’s cozy, but handicapping if you’re not careful. 

Today I had an undetected meltdown because I didn’t do anything to my face. There were some unexpected events and visitors so I didn’t have time to get “ready”. My eyebrows weren’t brushed, penciled, or anything. Just me 100 proof. In the middle of my spazzing, a good friend asked me a question that made me notice what I’ve been doing my whole life: A.)Speaking ill of myself to myself. B.)Striving to uphold a level of beauty for others out of fear that I won’t be enough for “them”.

Vulnerability is scary. Especially when pride is broken off of you making it impossible to hide the undiluted 100 proof you. Pride is a deadly defense. All of this moment was a recipe for deliverance from self-hatred and pride.

Glad it happened. Glad I happened. Glad God orchestrated a moment I didn’t know I needed to have. Glad God gave me friends that I can trust with the 100 proof me. Love Him for being a good Father and showing me why I gotta be all of her.

I gotta be her. ❤️🥰😘